It's really hard for me to let guys in.. I don't trust them... In my head I'm always assuming that no matter what type of relationship we have.. that I'm going to end up getting hurt.. and i self sabotage.. my last boyfriend was a loonnggg time ago.. and i just haven't been interested.. until now.. I've been talking to this guy for about 6 weeks.. and he is surprisingly nice.. it's weird and it knocks me off balance, and if there is one word that i would use to describe myself, it would be grounded... so for someone to completely take me by surprise is not something im used to... im used to guys talking about how big my chest is... and degrading me.. and it took me awhile to accept that I HATE it.. i want to be respected... and he respects me... I feel like this boy is one and a million and I hope to god that i don't fuck it all up... I've done some shitty stuff.. but i feel like my life is really coming together.. finally...
:) and I am so happy...
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